A question that I frequently get asked:
How does a communication evolve?
So I am going to share an experience with you today to show you how messages are connected.
This is a communication with Max, a confident beautiful yellow and white cat.
Max is said to be very particular, confident and loves to express his likes and dislikes.
His person Beth contacted me regarding some behavior problems that were causing upset and frustration within the home.
Max was peeing outside of the litter box and had been clawing regularly on the furniture.
Beth felt out of control, found herself impatient, loosing her temper, yelling, screaming with no resolve in sight. She was unhappy at this point with her own behavior and needed help.
I explained that in the cat world Max was not misbehaving in any manner. Scratching is a natural instinctive process important to a cat’s emotional as well as physical health. To him this was normal.
Peeing outside of the litter box is a way to gain attention, a call for help at times, expressing clearly that something is wrong. Many times this can be a sign of a health issue, a sign of a urinary tract infection and they relate to the box as pain, other times they can just be “pissed off” of what is taking place in their world.
It was time for me to communicate with Max and see if I could find the message he was trying desperately to convey.
Max was receptive and quick to respond, he shared that he was very upset because recently his cat buddy and a human person had moved out of their home.
He shared that he liked to hunt, eat, groom and sleep and that the hunt part of his life was missing.
He said, they take the dog outside, he wanted to go out too
With this information Beth and I were able to open a dialogue and with her response I was able to assure Max that a new person would be moving in that would play with him and that arrangements would be made with supervision so that he could start to go outdoors.
Simple solution that made him purrr!
Now about the litter box situation.
Max shared that his litter box was on the lower floor of his three story house. He wanted a litter box on the top floor and one on the lower floor. He did not always feel like making the trip to the other level. He also requested the litter that had a blue color in it.
I assured him that his request would be honored and thanked him for expressing his concern.
Now the furniture scratching:
Max showed me that he likes pulling his claws in a downward motion and that all of his scratching pads were flat.
I let him know that his guardian would provide new scratching post for him and place them in more convenient areas.
We now had our answers it was time to consult with Beth and her future role.
I discussed with Beth that many times when us humans want to correct an animal’s behavior, the energy that we give off is not calm, not safe, not kind nor balanced. This causes upset and most times the result you get is exactly the opposite of what you want. Our animals feel what you are feeling, rather than hear what you are saying.
If you recall as a child when an authority figure would say No or You cannot do that, what did you do? Most of us did exactly what we were told not to do. Or if someone spoke to us in a harsh or loud voice, how did you react? Usually cowering down only feeling a variety of emotions and did not hear a word they said.
Animals are no different; many times their actions are actually mirroring their person.
When you do not approve of a behavior, rather than going into the “upset zone” or in the “fix it” mode, which is not working, go to the “teach a trick let’s have fun mode”.
It changes the game.
Animals love to learn and love to have fun, when one or both of those elements are involved they are more receptive, open, willing to learn and love to please.
We must approach a resolve with a clear image of what is expected with patience and confidence. It is worth the effort.
I then assured Max that his needs would be meet but that he had some very important jobs and responsibilities to tend to which would include;
Using the litter box, helping to keep his home clean, using his own personal scratching post, allowing the furniture in the home to stay lovely and comfortable for all.
And that he must enjoy himself and continue to have fun.
Once we unraveled the mystery in Max’s current behavior, it was easy to guide Beth in the direction required and I was able to assure Max that his needs would be met
In the completion of my communication, in my minds eye I saw a grandmother type lady standing near Beth. I asked Beth if her grandmother had passed. Beth confirmed that yes she had passed and that she was very special to her.
Her grandmother had a message for Beth: “Making wise choices is important and you have become wise.”
Beth was taken a back and expressed to me that not long ago she had made some bad decisions, which her grandmother had been aware of. Beth was making changes, better choices and with this message it connected the dots assuring her to make better choices in her life with Max as well.
So there you have it: Watch what you project as your animal will feel it to the very tips of their toes.
Ask and ye shall receive when done from a calm, loving, confident, pure state of mind.
Co-writer – Becky Starr
*Animal’s and people’s names may be changed for privacy.
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